Hi! On saturday (30th September) this has made three months which I stopped the anxiolytics, to 1 month without I did a post of this first month without, How I managed? How I stopped? What Withdrawal I had?, post is here.
Ok, two months is passed between, today I will do a update after three months without anxiolytics, well.
A thing before: IT’S NOT EASY.
I had stop the xanax which I took since in the middle of january in morning of 30th june, I had stopped at once because I had previously tried to stop it by reduce in steps but at the final I increased again more. So with talks of psychiatrist I stopped at once. I had the first days a lot of muscle fatigue and of withdrawal. About one and half month after that I stopped all withdrawal are gone. One month and half after contrariwise I had always some insomnia but when I told to my psychiatrist she told that it was not the anxiolytics withdrawal stop but my anxiety.
After withdrawal have stopped, but goal and challenge was to manage my daily anxiety without anxiolytics and that it’s not always easy, mostly these last times. When I stopped, I felt a little better and more in my real body at the first point, the days, weeks, are passed daily things also and if at the first time it was good without, with no more depression symptoms, no more OCD, no more anxiety… since these few last weeks it’s hard, sometime very hard.
Since about the end of august, the daily life without anxiolytics becomes of more and more day hard… I have often the desire to take it again… because it’s hard to manage.
In real, I have not really more anxiety, OCD but depression symptoms (I know anxiolytics is for anxiety but not for depression symptoms but the two are actually connected between them, depression symptoms are in cause of anxiety, weird! because I haven’t more anxiety in exception of few things, doctor appointment, etc…) I have often the desire to take it since about one month. I have not done it yet… but why? if the big desire is here, well for start I wanted to manage sure until the goal which I was fixed myself, that is to say “three months without” it was my goal, I thought that I cannot manage until this date because it was of more in more hard to manage but I did it I passed the 30th september without, now it another story, today I not take it for this time, but… of course, I desire and I need but if I do not again take it, it’s because when I told to my psychiatrist that I want take again she tells me that I can manage without and it feels good to hear that, I feeling when she tells me that which I’m capable to arrive to do something including that in despite of my desire/need to take again, I feel capable.
During this last month where the desire to take it again becomes of more in more hard, I was too on a trip in Nice, France, it was a good trip but too with anxiety and emotional, very not easy but I had managed all that.
Otherwise, I founded a little solution during my anxiety attacks just anxiety attacks not daily anxiety (but it is already that). OK, I use the app breathe of my Apple Watch, it is a bit help, you will do near a post about that on the blog.
It’s not easy, I want and I don’t know if I coud hold my desire to take it again a long time, it is will nessecary to see.
I think that the next few days could to be the days who decide if the next weeks I could maybe continue without or take it again.
I just thinking about Las Vegas Gun, How do not have Anxiety when they are things like that happen in the world? I did few months ago a post about my anxiety on the insecurities of this world, it’s a bomb of anxiety these things. Thinking, thinking a lot of all peoples victims in terror attacks.
This was my three months without anxiolytics – update.