October Around Here

October is around here and it’s a special hard month. I have never loved Fall season but since a few years, I have past memories directly related to my C-PTSD who done it the worst month of the year. I feel bad and have again more anxiety since my grandmas are passed away and just this month of October doesn’t help me.

It’s a really hard month, since Fall last year, I tried hard to fight my demons of the Fall season, this year I have even done a trip to Disneyland Paris but nothing work. It’s not this year that I will love the Fall season.

I feel really bad lately between my multiple anxiety, flashbacks and OCD, I was really thinking if I haven’t need to take back an antidepressant. It’s years now that I haven’t took a medication except my daily treatment with the Lamictal who helps me to regulate my switching mood. It’s all! I feel like in a part of my life where I need during a few times to take to help me, maybe!?

I haven’t had of psychiatrist appointments in one month (one week I canceled, one week I was at Disneyland Paris and one week my psychiatrist was in vacation), today I have my first psychiatrist appointment in one month and I’m thinking to talk her about my thoughts to try an antidepressant. Because I’m really really bad lately!

I’m really not motivated to go outside from home. I have taken six days after that I was back from my Disneyland trip to go outside just 5 minutes. I tried to take a walk around Fall tree colors and leaves because it’s maybe the only thing that I love in the Fall season (but not helps me to fight my demons), I was good five minutes but just after I had an anxiety attack. Right! It’s pretty hard!

I spent a lot of time to edit the videos of my Disneyland Paris trip this month. I have two and they will be out this week. I’m watching a lot of Psych and Friends and a bit of Monk. Some days, when I’m bad I was watching Christmas movies to maybe forget that we are October but right now, I promised to me to enjoy Halloween movies as The Dog Who Saved Halloween, Hocus Pocus, Fun Size (I shared all my favorite Halloween movies here last year) until the 1st November and take back at this date only Christmas movies.

In the part to trying to enjoy a bit of Fall is to find a good activity. Here is the type. One, pick up leaves. Two, try to form a Mickey head form with the leaves. Five minutes in a good mood on 744 hours in October. Not bad!?

What has been round up in October! This weekend we have been on a spa getaway for my sister’s birthday also. It was a long time that I haven’t done a life lately kind of post with my Disneyland Paris trip this month and my three weeks trip in September. Thanks for reading!


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