I never talked about my psychiatrist appointment trips on my blog. But to go to see my psychiatrist, it’s some real day trips and exhausting trips. I particularly think because it’s always the same things. I wanted to do this post because there have been some change. My psychiatrist has moved his office and I had my first visit in it this Monday. I was not stressed about this and despite his new office smells the walls painting, it’s rather good and it’s bigger. Her new office is located not so long that the old, about to 2 minutes to walk.
Is this change could help me to feel better? I don’t know but these last months I had some troubles and felt almost all time bad after each psychiatrist appointment. I feel my psychiatrist not always concentrate and forgotten some important things.
I saw the same psychiatrist since 9 years. I have about every Mondays some appointments except during every school vacations and I canceled a few since the beginning of the year because I was not good. I have my appointments at 02h00pm. I took the car and the train to go to. I have 100km to travel on the go AND on the back. I left home around 12h00pm, my parents driving me 20 minutes until the gare station. I took the train at 12h38pm. I have 1 hour of train. At 13h38pm, I’m at Strasbourg after I have about 10 minutes to walk until I arrive in his office. My psychiatrist has always a delay of at least 20 minutes so I’m waiting about 30 minutes in the waiting room. My appointments are about 30 minutes but sometimes she cuts short to 15 minutes because she is in delays. I do not support this after all the time I took to go until his office. Often disappointed, I’m outside of my appointment, it’s around 02h50pm. Generally, I take the way back to the gare station and I stop by Starbucks to grab something to drink fastly. I have the train at 03h18pm. But! Sometimes, I can decide to go walk in an of my favorite part of the city and take the train at 03h48pm, it’s rarely so much I’m exhausted. One hour of train again and about 20 minutes to drive until home. I’m home around 05h00pm.
I took five hours to go at my psychiatrist appointments where I feel the most time disappointed. It’s this since about 4 years, before I saw my psychiatrist at only 25 minutes of road from home but she has moved of city and when I had 18 years old, I was out of the teen service where I had my appointments during five years before. This switching was a hard time in life, in more I was in a deep depression at this time. My mom wanted that I change of psychiatrist at this time but I did not wanted. At this moment, I saw her since five years, I felt good with her. I did not wanted to start all again since the beginning almost that I have some big troubles to talk during my appointments.
Now, I don’t know where I am, I’m exhausted by these trips. A thing recently who worry me, so much I’m exhausted by these appointment trips I feel a fear in myself to do big travel vacation because to could be tired like in the other trips. I think, I’m exhausted because it started to be a routine. An exhausting routine! I always try to do a few little things of different, like take another way to walk until the gare station, take another drink at Starbucks. But, it’s not helping me! I decided waiting to see in May how I feel with the new office, if it’s enough to feel me better. Further, I recently talked about an really important in my recovery and that’s could maybe turn the situation and feelings. And if I feel always bad in June, I could to do a big change in my appointments and to do more Disneyland day trips instead because these last time it’s gives me happier. To see… Despite the financial cost to buy train tickets to do my psychiatrist appointment trips, it’s currently an exhausting situation in my life. Xoxo.