Today, I will to do a life update, I do regularly some updates on some parts of my life with my weekly or monthly same posts but now I will to do a update on again different parts of my life (healthy, mental disorders, therapist attachement, work,…).
It’s good for me to do this life update because same if I know it already I realize again more my enormous progress in writing this post.
Anorexia: It is a big progress, I do not count anymore calories, I can eat so much calories provided that I do not take weight… I do not weigh myself every days, every times, I weigh myself once time by month seriously. I did not take weigh really and for me it’s good like that because I feel not very good about take weight. I have always a disgust about some food but if not I feel very good when I’m in front of a variety of food, I love also smell food… anyway when I smell some foods from afar and I love that smell when I come in front of food I realize that some food disgusts me, ok, it’s also a progress because before the food disgusted me I couldn’t smell them also. I continue my food goals every month.
Borderline: The other day on my snow trip, I forgetten my medication (Lamictal 25mg on mornings), I did not take it during 3 days but I nothing felt of bad in my body, no more anger or things like that from borderline disorder. I take this medication since 2 and half years, he helps me for managing my big emotions switchs symptoms principally, he helps(ed) a lot. I’m actually in thinking try to stop it… try and if I feel so bad on management my emotions switching symptoms, I could take it again. Outside emotions switching symptoms, my bpd is stable also, the fact that I found different things for managed differently my life (minimalist lifestyle, enjoy little things,…) I managed to stay in a stable situation.
Depression: It’s a little special about depression part because in general I haven’t depression symptoms, I haven’t not special suicide ideas, self harm action,… but sometimes I can to have a depression down time, they are during about two-three weeks or I can feel myself depressive, with a desire to do nothing except my photography work but in a depression down time like that I have in more of a desire to do nothing, a sleep time all day, I can sleep in morning just after wake up me or many times in afternoon or evening but generally a sleep time during maximum 1 hour… but I can sleep 1 hour follow by a wake up of 30 minutes for sleep again 1 hour just in follow.
Therapist attachment: I have one appointment by week with my psychiatrist, there is one year ago, I had so much difficult when it was the vacation time and that I haven’t appointments during one or two weeks or more… it was so hard but actually I feel good when there is no appointment during vacation. I do not have anymore problems with my psychiatrist attachment because I’m expecting nothing special from her.
Work: When I work on my photography project in my room… I love that and take this time for work but I do not see able to work outside, aside I take time on a formation for learn more my english and I haven’t other work these time, I work on the other hand on what work or school I could to do the next school year.
Sleeping: On a of my goal for this year is to sleep most regular because I can sleep not before 2h am and after I wake up not before 9h30 am… I have need at least between 8 to 10 hours by night of sleeping when I’m not in a depression down, ok I choosen to fix me to turn off all technology screens at 11h30 pm and with a alarm clock at 8h30 am I’m actually in try to managed this goal, I able to manage some nights but not every nights. A other thing, I have fear to sleep in dark. Since about 2 years I have fear of sleep in dark during the 3/4 of these years, I slept always with the tv on for do not to be in dark, for my birthday I received the Philips Hue Go lamp… she is awesome this lamp, now I do not sleep anymore with tv and with this lamp we can manage the intensity of the lights or colors and when she not plugged and full loaded she can stay on portable mode 3 hours lights on, that permits to have her for start my sleep and she turn off by herself after and I can finish my night in dark.
To Buy: I love to buy things that I wanted, I keep aside things that I want during few days for see if it’s really that I want… I don’t like to buy a thing which is getting closer of a other thing that I want, I prefer wait and search more for found the exact thing. Every end of the month, I love to do a list “to buy” with the principally things for the follow month for see what I buy if it was in my plans for to buy or see the list for return to my priorities.
Pet: I have a cutest cat to home, she wants always cuddles… I have allergies to cats, dogs,… but when my allergies are a little on mode off (in functions some seasons) I love cuddles with her anyway these times again more that usually my cat comes all times in my room, she do not like to be alone on the days and comes snuggle and cuddle with me in my room.
Going Out: It’s winter but in my town there is already some spring feelings, ok, I could love so much have some snow but I feel good with these spring feelings. I can love go outside for walks, to flight my drone, near when spring will be again more here, I decided to take my bike for ride a little. I love going outside for see airplanes take off and landing, to do activities, like ice skating,… or again my biggest thing I love going outside for to do ski times. I can now going outside alone. I’m happy to be able to going outside alone particularly to my psychiatrist visits and a lot of other things, it’s just awesome, I’m able to fighting alone my anxiety to be assault.
Physical: I can walk without to be tired before 30 minutes in the roll of walk but I can’t raise heavy things of about 2kg or more and sometimes less that 2kg. I have a little stomach so I can eat only few pieces and I feel with a full stomach. I can sometimes feel myself very tired same if I do not want to sleep.
Anxiety: I have a lot of anxiety currently but I work hard for change it.
Watching: I love watching Tv Shows (Modern Family, NCIS, Hawaii 5-0, Law and Order, Psych,…) I fixed myself for goal on this year, trying to watch more movies because except christmas movies I did not watched neither. I’m happy of this goal. I watching a very lot these times.
Playing: I love playing with puzzles, Lego, to flight my DJI Spark (it’s not very a toy),… I play with Rayman Adventure on my iPhone, the sims free play on my iPad, crazy snowboard or again fruit ninja. I love dobble game or games where it is necessary speed to find something.
This was a life update… A lot of progress in some parts of my life.
See you tomorrow.