Life Lately

Let’s sharing a bit of life lately! Right! Between sunshine, flowers, solo time, new medication, and new lockdown.

Over this weekend, we started a new lockdown in France because the number of cases has too much rised because of the new UK variant. But! The peoples who call it Lockdown season 3 make me laugh. Because for me we never go out of the Lockdown season 2 who started in the end of October 2020, because Disneyland Paris has not reopened between, because even the ski lifts who are outdoor have never open of the ski season and because of my traumas who unlocked so much particularly since the second lockdown. I have never quitted again the second lockdown since six months. When I watch a bit of news on Internet and that I see that other countries outside of Europe tell that the France is in a third waves because we have eased too much restrictions. I ask me if this is a joke what I read! The peoples who talk about, don’t live in France during this pandemic. The French gouvernment has never eased of restrictions since October 2020, even when we officially were outside of the second lockdown on December 15, 2020, we have started a curfew who has never stopped and nothing has again reopened. The only thing authorized opens were the shops. Right! It’s for this reason that for me we never was out of the second lockdown. Disneyland Paris has all the time delayed his reopening date since October, and even the ski lifts who are outdoor, the French gouvernment has never wanted to open them of the season. NEVER. And since the end of January with the new UK variant who has slowly increased, the French gouvernment has took all the time new restrictions like by closing the bigger malls and more. It’s make me angry when I watch news from others parts of the world tell that it’s the reason of the new wave. No! But because it looks like the new variant is really more crazy!

Right! Since this weekend we are officially in a new lockdown for four weeks and the school are closed. In reality, the school are only closed for one week, because we have two weeks of spring school holiday in France and the French gouvernment has took advantage of the holiday to make the lockdown and closes the school in the same time. But! Outside of the fact of this lockdown, during the French president national address Wednesday, I had a bit of hope. Because for the first time of the year he has talked about reopening the country, and given dates. It’s never happened since the beginning of the year who talks about reopening some things. He hasn’t given official dates, but he has told started to reopening the country between mid-May and the beginning of the Summer. Right! It was good to hear for the first in a long time about reopening things, even if currently we are in a lockdown.

Talking about exceptional things! Last week, I was in solo with my sister at home during my parents were on a trip in the south of France. My sister works most of the day so I was at home in solo. This is the first time since my solo trip to Disneyland Paris in October 2020 that I spent many hours in solo. It was so good! Particularly related to my traumas who has unlocked since these past months.

And talking about exceptional things again! Last week was a crazy weather week. It was a summer weather! After a couple months ago to have a crazy cold weather, last week, we got crazy exceptional hot summer weather for the season. It was like June weather. We have never so hot weather for this season. But I loved! It was so good! For my mind also! I spent a lot of time in the backyard to photograph the flowers blossoms and just trying to relax. It was challenging with my Complex PTSD, but I have managed a bit. And currently, we are back at cold weather and it’s even supposed to snow again. I’m sad! It’s crazy in my head because usually I prefer Winter than Summer weather. I always love Winter, but I’m just so excited for have Summer (but not too hot like even) weather. I’m currently trying to explore my feelings because I ask me if it’s not related to my past traumas.

With the hot weather, I switched in my afternoon drink from hot chocolate to cold chocolate drinks. I have tried a new Cacao Milkshake recipe that I love. And I tried the Chocolate Whipped Milk but I don’t love it. I prefer my Frozen Hot Chocolate from last summer. No drink! But I’m currently obsessed with Chocolate mousse, but the craziest thing is that despite that it’s take more time, I prefer doing them myself daily that buy them in the stores. Eating has been pretty hard since months in the lockdown but I’m a bit obsessed with doing and eating Chocolate mousse currently.

About two weeks ago and after a visio-visit with my psychiatrist and in sight of the high symptoms and how I’m feel right now. I started a new medication, an anti depressant, to try help me to manage a bit better and stabilize some symptoms. The first observation that I have after ten days to took it. Since the beginning of December, I have big insomnia sleeping troubles, one thing that I have never had before, I manage to fall asleep faster. But I’m doing crazy and hard nightmares related to my flashbacks. I think, it’s starting to calm down night after night, but it’s not ok to tell it. These are really disrupting nightmares and if it’s continues I don’t know if I could continues to take this medication. But it’s too short to tell again! I try to continue and I could see!

Right! That wraps a bit this life lately!

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