How I Tried To Prepare Me During The Lockdown

Disneyland Paris is reopening on July 15! Seriously, I didn’t know how to intro this post. Right! I’m just sharing this phrase. Yesterday afternoon, Disneyland Paris has officially announced his reopening date. It’s for July 15! Last week, it was announced that it’s could be tell on Monday, so I waited it I was so anxious about all the weekend. After a few weeks of silent compared to Walt Disney World and Disneyland Resort park, Disneyland Paris has talked about his reopening date. It was so exciting! Now, outside of the date that in real a lot of things tell that the reopening date could be around mid-July even if nothing was official announced. Outside of the fact of the date, another thing who anxious me over the last weeks when Walt Disney World has announced his reopening date, it was of the fact that with the restrictions because of the Coronavirus, any parades and shows could happening again. It’s hard for me because parades and shows are my favorite.

Right! The announcements of Disneyland Paris yesterday, tell that Disney Stars On Parade and Disney Illuminations could not happening at the parks reopening because of the social distance rule. BUT! You can’t know how I was happy when I read that!… Some shows could like even happens, it’s including The Lion King and Rhythms Of The Pride Lands and The Jungle Book Jive shows, these two shows are including in The Lion King and Jungle Book Festival who normally take place from June 20 to September 13, 2020. They had not yet officially announced this festival canceled. I’m so happy! These shows could happens modified in a different way for The Jungle Book Jive and for The Lion King and Rhythms Of The Pride Lands who is performing at Frontierland theater could be organized with the social distance rule. It’s could not be really right at the parks reopening but later in the summer. It’s ok! I understand who can’t start a show on the first day of reopening with all the restrictions and after four months closed (who is historic for Disney parks), but they makes it for that it’s happening this summer. And that’s amazing! I can’t imagine the work that it’s for organizing all that with the restrictions. I’m so grateful for these peoples who have probably worked days and nights for make the most at the reopening!

If, I’m so sad for my favorite parade and disney illuminations not happening and I really hope in my heart who could be back fast because a disney day without them could not be totally therapeutic. I’m so excited to discover the parks in a new way, they planned a lot of things who can match with the sanitary rules. It’s looks so exciting! Despite and even with some rules like the mask! I think, they have really done and are doing a hard work. I love the phrase that Disneyland Paris has written during announcing the reopening date and protocol – Because we have never needed so much magic, we have pushed the boundaries of what is possible to make your Disneyland Paris experience a waking dream – while preserving your health and safety!

Now, I’m waiting an official email dedicated to pass holders for how manage my annual pass who has expired mid-May and the steps to follow for renew it.

Last year, July 15 was the funeral of my first grandma passing away in the summer. This year, it’s Disneyland Paris reopening after four months of closed because of a virus. I don’t know how I will managed this date. I don’t know again if I will to do the choice to be at Disneyland Paris for the reopening. I’m looking on my projects again.

Now, I will share how I tried to continually prepare me psychologically and physically at the reopening of Disneyland Paris during the lockdown and before to have any date of reopening and perspective of what could happens/available at the opening.

During the lockdown and this parks closure, since mid-March, I have never stopped to prepare myself how to be back in the different ways. Some days I failed, often but some others days, I have managed to try preparing me to be back. Outside of the fact to trying to stay positive to continue living with my C-PTSD and this world crisis, what is a challenge with my mind at every single second. I tried to take this break of my monthly trips at Disneyland Paris to thinking and reflect on how I could be back for that I do new milestones in my recovery. If you follow me on Instagram, you have could see that I have done one big progress about my social anxiety this past week.


Right! Disneyland Paris has been therapeutic on a lot of things like to reduce my flashbacks, appease my sleep, reduce my social anxiety or again even it’s helped me on my fire phobia with the dragon who spit fire in the parade or the flame throwers in disney illuminations. During this lockdown, although I took the time to write down on every things, big and little before I trended to concentre me only on the big, why Disneyland Paris has been therapeutic and every things that these solo trips in this special place have learned me.

A fact, since March it’s the first time with this closure that I spent more than one month without going at Disneyland since September 2019. Since, I have been every month, except in January where I switched my Disneyland trip for a ski trip. It makes me happy and sad in the same time! I’m so grateful for all these trips.

Trying to prepare myself to be back has been something very hard, without date of opening, with all the restrictions who could happening when it’s could opens back without know them exactly, what things exactly could be available. It’s something hard! I was not able to prepare a trip like before where I plan what I want to do or see on my days there. Right! I decided to take the things a bit differently and in waiting to be able to plan a trip there with what I want really to do and see in function of what could be available right at the opening. Yes! I have done a list of different things that I want to do during some next trips at Disneyland Paris. A dream bucket list and to be maybe able to switch between different things. I have done also a list of different videos projects that I want to work on it and started to write the storytelling. But after, I decided to put this side aside.

And I started to concentrate me on another side. I have started to do a list on what I could work therapeutically again. After, the first list of all the things that Disneyland Paris has been already therapeutic, I continued by doing this time, a list of all the feelings good and bad that I can feel during one full day at Disneyland Paris, some my happiness feelings, to my meditation feelings during waiting disney illuminations, my anxiety of walking in the shops, my feelings to going back late at the hotel and exasperation to the disrespect children who push during the parades and much more, I written the more detailed my feelings at the different stages of one day. It was a fun time to do that and during the process to write down this list (I put a few days to write it) it took me back in some amazing memories. It was nice to reflect like that and it show me once again how my days there are full and exhausting. But it’s is for this that I love them.


Right! After, I looked on this list and I tried to spot on what things exactly I need to work in a therapy process, by example, if I feel with no social anxiety during talking a some unknown, I noticed that I feel socially anxious again during walking in the shops. It’s maybe of the fact that I don’t buy anything. But what else! I have the strength that only a few peoples have on this planet, go in a shop and go out without buying anything and mostly without feeling the need to buy anything. I can walk in and look on what things Disneyland Paris sells. Just that! But I have the right to do that without feeling social anxiety! It’s something that I have to work on it!

Ok! I tried to spot on some different things that I need to work on it again. After spot them, I tried to understand why I have these feelings, is because of my social anxiety, another kind of anxiety, my C-PTSD or something else. Sometimes, I have found why, some others, I haven’t found why again. Right! On these things, it’s rather hard to find an action plan. But it’s in process! I have some work to do again!

Now, I could let my heart choose on what he wants to work on it. Because with my relapse in depression and steps back in C-PTSD, I could not be able to work on all things right now! And thanks for reading!


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