I had the want to do a new kind of post to document things in my healing process. I don’t know if I could do it regularly or not yet! But right now, I had the want to do that. I have never really done post like that in more. Right! I will sharing 5 things about me, right now!
NEW EDITING AND ORGANIZATION PHOTOS
I’m currently in the way to find new photos editing. Right! I could stay on a light and airy look in general. But, I have changed of editing software on my phone. And it’s need work and adaptation because the same editing doesn’t give the same effect. I took advantage of the closure of Disneyland Paris to do that because during my last trips, the way that I edited my photos doesn’t worked correctly for me. In the same way, I’m trying to find new photos organization because the organization that I use daily in the park to editing and organize my photos was not good anymore with the among of photos that I took each day during a trip. And when I was back home I was overwhelmed by the among of photos not good organized each day. Right! I’m working to find my own system to optimize my time to editing and organize better my photos during this Disneyland Paris closure, to do not spend time to editing and organize my photos until 01h00 am in the hotel room during my trips, to use this time to sleep rather. I try to be ready for when the park could reopening!
I BOUGHT MY FIRST FLOWER BOUQUET AND STARTING A FLOWER OBSESSION
It’s started a bit last year, but I think that this year it’s starting to increase again more. My love for flowers. I have never really loved flowers before. Right! But I’m currently pretty in love. I don’t know if it’s could continued but it’s currently! I don’t love every flowers. My absolutely favorite is Cherry Blossoms trees. But more I look on different flowers, more I love different flowers. Ok! I have done a thing that I have never done! I bought me a flower bouquet! These are not some real! But for the first time ever, I had the want to add flowers to my room decor for Spring feeling. Wahoo!
THE WANT TO HAVE WARMER WEATHER
I don’t know what happens here! I’m a Winter lover, and I’m usually so depressed when Winter is over and that the temperatures get warm. Usually, I hate hot weather! Right! At the end of February we had an early beautiful Spring weather. It was during one week, but since the weather is again Winter despite that we are officially in Spring since this week end. It’s has even snowed again! But! I would like to have warmer weather. I think and suppose that it’s because of my current mental breakdown. But I don’t like that usually! It’s irritate me a bit to want warm weather because I’m afraid that when warm weather could be here I could don’t want to it because I usually don’t love it. Right! What is happening in my head?!
THE LOCKDOWNS, UNLOCKED MY TRAUMAS
These past weeks, I finally understood why I felt so bad, literally a little more each day. I often thought that it was Disneyland Paris second closure and who is all the time delayed since five months. But, in reality it’s nothing about! Even if I miss the parks! I started to get into a mental breakdown in the beginning of December, at this moment we were in a second lockdown in France. I placed my feelings on this lockdown and Disneyland Paris closure. Until a few weeks ago, many things makes me understood that it was something else. Slowly, day by day, by exploring my feelings, I took conscience that my traumas related to my Complex PTSD are coming up in my head. And I realized that it’s what happened since the beginning of the first lockdown in March 2020. During looking back on my feelings of this past year, I realized that it’s started slowly that my traumas were coming up. I understood that it was maybe for this that I felt not so good at the Disneyland Paris reopening in Summer 2020. But I didn’t know! My feelings or mental breakdown are totally not related in reality to the pandemic. But my past traumas! The lockdowns unlocked my traumas! It’s just special and hard since that I discovered that! I have more than ever my past traumas who are coming up in my head, and some that I have never realized. My trips to Disneyland Paris since September 2019 makes me understood a few things about me for the first time for ever. But the real effects of the lockdowns has literally make continued the work without that I know it in first time, it’s show me secrets part of me. I now understand some current feelings who are related to my past traumas. I feel a bit good to have understood about that! But currently, it’s such so hard because I’m OVERWHELMED by all my past traumas without to have a real solution to stabilize my feelings. It’s such hard and overwhelming! I’m feel hopeless! I literally learn daily new things related to my past traumas and it’s just too much! I have big sleeping troubles since the beginning of December and I’m tired by this also. Learning all these things currently is just so EXHAUSTING!
I HAVE A HAPPY FEELING FOR DISNEYLAND CALIFORNIA REOPENING DATE
Disneyland Paris has delayed his reopening date for the third time since October, and we don’t have date anymore currently. Last week, I told that it was hard and that I felt pretty peaceful! It’s always the case! In the same time. I’m feel really happy for Disneyland California who got last week the first reopening date in one year. When Disneyland Paris has reopened mid-July 2020, I was so sad that Disneyland California was not able to reopens again, particularly with Walt Disney World who is placed in the same country and has been able to reopens. I found that unfair! Right! Despite that Disneyland Paris the reopening could not happens probably before June-July, because Paris region just started a new lockdown for one month. I feel happy that they got a reopening at Disneyland California on April 30. I feel happy for everyone Californian who missed Disneyland during this one year. I just hope that by this date, here we got more informations about a Disneyland Paris reopening date.
That wraps this post about 5 things right now! Thanks for stopping by!0