The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that’s every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again – Rachael in Friends.
That’s right! I don’t know how to manage. I feel already overwhelmed in normal time but currently it’s start to be unsupportable. My flashbacks and anxiety increase every single day, I’m falling in depression. Because I can’t to have the only really therapeutic thing who help me in my C-PTSD, going to Disneyland Paris.
It’s now more than one month that I’m back from my last trip in March and the therapeutic effects are down. It’s one month that the parks are closed. Monday, the French gouvernment has extended the France lockdown and quarantine until May 11. It’s not tomorrow that I could get some therapy and I don’t know if I could to hold.
I had clearly to search some helpful tools but the problem is that I’m searching since months helpful therapeutic tools at home but nothing never helped me like going to Disneyland Paris and again less in some hard times like that in my mental health. I don’t know what to do!
Right! I tried to keep going. I don’t know if I could to find a really helpful thing and if yes, probably not as much as helpful than going to Disneyland Paris. But at this moment, the goal is not here! It’s to find helpful tools who can help me to hold, calm a bit my flashbacks and anxiety until that I can go back to Disneyland Paris. The task is hard! I don’t know if I will managed to stay up but I will try, I want to go back to Disneyland Paris.
I spend days and nights to searching some helpful tools who could help meeven a bit. I’m thinking what help me, what Disneyland themed park I can to do at home, I’m looking on Pinterest, everywhere, I’m looking even creative things that parents can to do to occupy their toddlers. I’m looking on so much things that I feel overwhelmed by all. But I try to continue to searching because without helpful things I couldn’t to hold.
Right! In March, I had the idea of my Disneyland Memories Game, the goal was to remember the good past memories over my trips in waiting to could create new. It was helpful and fun! BUT not enough today! When I started this game I was again under the therapeutic effects from my Disneyland Paris trip in March, now every single day my flashbacks crisis increase more. It’s really cool this game, I always do it but it’s not enough to survive to my days.
Always searching new ideas… I found maybe an idea. Create a Disney themed daily program. I started to try on six days, I’m on the third day, right I can’t tell really if it’s totally helpful but to be occupy by this program during my days, yesterday and the day previous, I had the feeling that I had a bit less of flashbacks, the feeling was light but I felt it.
The topic of this Disney themed daily program.
I created four categories “FOOD”, “FUN ACTIVITIES”, “THERAPY ACTIVITIES”, “DISNEY + (yes, now that I have it)“. I write down six different things on each categories (I use hours to put them together), except for the food category because my eating disorder is really bad with my depression side and it’s a miracle if I ate two pasta by meal. Right! I decided to put only three things do not be overwhelmed because I knew it that I could not manage in this category but I thinking that it was necessary to place it in the program also.
The goal is now each morning to pick one activity by category and do it during the day! Simple, but not so simple when you’re in depression and enchain more and more powerful flashbacks crisis. Keep working on it…
On another side, I create myself this Flashbacks Emergency Peace Wheel. The goal of this wheel is to could distract me from my flashbacks crisis by small and fast activities than I noticed be helpful during a few minutes. Now, for this I have done a mix of Disney and other things who can help me. I don’t know again if it’s can really help me but let’s looking on…
These are two therapy tools at home for my C-PTSD that I used days to put together. Now, to see if it’s can help me! What are your favorite therapeutic tools that you use at home to manage your C-PTSD or depression? What tools do you use during this quarantine?