Bonjour! Tomorrow, I’m away on a solo trip in Paris! My first solo trip with nights of 2019 and my third in my life. And seriously I’m so anxious! Last year, I took my two solo trips in Nice on the French Riviera. I have chosen this city because Nice is my favorite city and it’s a city where I feel safe. It was a city where I went with my family about 5 times and the last before my first solo trip, it was just seven months apart. These trips were awesome! And it’s changed my life on my social anxiety and on many other parts! When I was back of my second solo trips, last October, I was ready to take a solo trip in another city and in one who anxious me to go farther in the recovery of my social anxiety.
Talking about Paris! I was one time in my life in Paris. It was in Fall 2014. I loved this trip that we did. But now, when my parents have the tv on and watching the news and when I saw what happens in Paris, this city anxious me. I do not like watching the news because it’s too depressing for me, never I’m watching the news but as my parents watch them sometimes I saw some things even if I try always not to be in the room where the tv is on. I know nowhere you are safe at 100% but somewhere we can feel safe like me at Nice and somewhere we do not feel safe like I feel about Paris.
I have a lot of anxieties about my trip but outside my social anxiety when I try to identify them. I can’t understand from where they come exactly! Yes! I’m anxious with my social anxiety but my two last solo trips and even my Disneyland day trips, show me that I feel better socially outside of my district. I’m a little anxious about pickpockets, terror attacks,… but my biggest anxieties are not to here. I spent my last month to planning my trip, I tried to spot the things who could anxious me the more and find things who could help me. In all that! My conclusion is simple, I think, I’m anxious because compared to Nice, in Paris, I was only once and it was more than four years ago, so, a little long time. Because like at Nice, I went many times, and the last before my first solo trip was only seven months ago. I have walked in the streets a lot before. I know Nice before to go in solo. Well! I don’t know really a lot of things about Paris except the bad news that I hear sometimes. I never really walked in the streets of Paris, I was already at the Eiffel Tower and climb in, at the Arc of Triomphe also, I went also at Versailles. But four years ago! Four years ago! And only one time!
I think this is the big part of my anxieties, going in a big really big city that I don’t know. It’s something of new and recent to travel in solo for me again! When I thought to go at Paris, I have chosen it because I know that it was a city who anxious me and like said before I wanted a city who anxious me, and seriously in France, I haven’t another special big city that I want to discover in solo. To be honest, despite some bad news on tv, I was happy to chosen and want to go back at Paris. I’m excited to go in a city that I was not recently and just one time. But obviously, this is that also who anxious me so much. But I want to do it and I need to take a few days in solo.
A little note: I just recently discovered that tomorrow, Michelle Obama is at Paris for promoting his book and I find that so cool! I will not go see her because I have already something else in my plans but me who loves the USA, I find that really cool! In more, it was not planned when I have chosen these days for my trips, I did not know that she will come in Paris on this day also. I think just that is cool and since I know she comes on the same day that me I feel just a little less anxious and more comfortable to go in Paris! It’s psychological, I know but no matter, in view of my high anxieties that I have, I took whatever helps me to feel me more comfortable to travel in solo at Paris. I think if I go in a shop where his book is sold I could buy it!
I’m anxious but I’m hopeful because I want to do this trip and I’m motivated! On the way to fight my anxiety and going on a solo trip, I will take a break a few days on the blog. You can follow me on my Instagram account @peanutrecovery, like I’m excited to take photos in Paris, I will probably share many photos. Thanks for reading!