Well! During the summer months, I had the want to stop the monthly life lately that I do at the end of each month. I could start again at the end of September. But I had the want to document a few things that I have done this summer. Right! I will sharing five things that I did this summer.
This summer has been launched with the beginning of the phase 3 of reopening the country. Here in France, we had three extremely strict lockdown months. I don’t know! Starting this summer was special. But I didn’t know what I felt exactly and seriously always I don’t know really. One thing, I was really anxious about the virus and after not be going out from the house during four months, (even for going at the shop). I haven’t take a step outside from the house and background in four months. I was pretty anxious to going outside again. And because the virus is always here. In June, I started to going outside by taking a few bike rides around the house and later in July, I have traveled the first time post-lockdown on a family beach vacation. But where I felt pretty anxious about the virus and because in the south of France, peoples doesn’t respect the mask and social distance rules. And in August, I took my first real back at Disneyland Paris and solo trip since the lockdown. Since this trip, I feel a bit less anxious to going outside. Because at Disneyland Paris, the safety rules are strict, at any time during the five days, I felt anxious about the virus even with peoples around me. The mask, social distances, hand sanitizer, since this trip, I felt less anxious to going but I’m always pretty anxious to go in a place like a shop because of the virus. The only place that I felt really safe is Disneyland Paris.
This is a first big step to feel safe at least at Disneyland Paris because in the beginning of June, even before that Disneyland Paris gives his official reopening date, I didn’t know if the day when they could reopen, I could feel enough safe to going because my anxiety about the virus was at an extreme big level.
During this summer we had to do some vacation switch. In first, we booked back in February for going at Biarritz in the beginning of July but our flights has been canceled because of the virus. We re-booked this vacation for the end of August and we are going at the south of France in waiting. Ok! Our trip has been again canceled for the end of August at Biarritz for the second time. Right! I’m a bit sad and angry! But in real, I feel pretty ok with this. I don’t think that I could to have enjoyed it with my anxiety of the virus. I’m feel pretty good with what I traveled during these two months, one week on a beach vacation, going for an annual pass soft reopening day at Disneyland Paris, in July, and five days at Disneyland Paris and in solo in August. I feel pretty ok about this and love that after to have been lockdown at home during four months. This week, if I wanted I could to have been again on one week vacation in the south of France with parents. But I tell no. Because in July, I felt so anxious in the south of France and I decided to let my parents going alone on this vacation. They dreamed of vacation alone since a very long time. And I know that solo vacation are good. I felt pretty good with my trips in July and August so I decided to left the go alone. Let’s time!
It’s months that I haven’t read. But before going on our summer vacation in the beginning of July, I had the want to buy one book and try to read it during the vacation. I didn’t know if I could managed. I bought the last Harry Potter book and I read it in three days. I can’t believe it! In normal time, I took three weeks to read a book. I have done it in three days this one. Since, I want to continue to read and use books. I haven’t read a big book again but I bought a few simple books and even without really reading. I love touching the book and look on the pictures. Like a minimalist, buy real books are not my favorites but touching books bring me something of good. Right! I will to see at the same time that be extra careful of what books buy to do not cluttering but I think that buy a few books could be on my list in the next months.
2. STARTED (AND FINISHED) A NEW TREATEMENT.
Right! I was so bad mentally and my flashbacks were insupportable in daily life that I asked to my psychiatrist, if trying a new treatment could be made. She says yes. And recommend that I try the Mirtazapine who could be good maybe for my flashbacks. I started mid-June and if after two weeks to the four weeks, I had the feeling that it brings me something good. These past weeks, it shows me that it doesn’t help me and it has tendency to even increase my flashbacks and does not let me enjoy the present moment like during my trip at Disneyland Paris where in my diary I reported that enjoy the present moment in my trip was hard and this medication was probably a part (not all reasons) that I was not able. Well! This past week after to talk at my psychiatrist, I stopped this treatment.
3. TAKE OUT MY APPLE WATCH.
What! Right! After my trip at Disneyland Paris in March, I took down my Apple Watch because put it in charge every night started to annoys myself. In the same time, we started a strict lockdown at home so I decided that I could not have the need of it. I put down and do not touched until this summer. I felt good during all these months without it.
The reason who pushed me to take it again was a few weeks before my Disneyland Paris trip. In the reflection of solutions to avoid contact during my trip because of the virus. The phones are probably the thing that you have the most of touch contacts, mostly if you are like me take a ton of photos. But outside of touching my phone to take photos, without the Apple Watch, I touch it also for watching the hours of the day, to look on my messages. I noticed that to have with me my Apple Watch could reduce these multiple touch contacts with my phone. I could watch the hours and look on the messages directly on my Apple Watch without touching the phone. It’s for this principal big reason that I take out my Apple Watch. It’s worked good during my trip!
4. LISTENING AT PODCAST FOR THE FIRST TIME.
I hear since a long time about Podcast but never really understand what it is except that it’s something that we listen. Well! I have never looked on it until I noticed months ago when I started the meditation that I love listening peoples who talk, it’s calm me. Ok! Today, even if I started to listening podcasts and I want probably to continue during fall, I don’t know again if I want to find a time of the day to listening or randomly, I always don’t understand why podcasts really exist and what it brings at the world. But listen to them have a relaxing effect on me.
Right! I started only with french podcasts. I looked on a Disney and a podcast series called Emotions. Now, I don’t know again if I will search more or not to listen that these two. But I’m currently looking on it. Right! But if someone know why podcasts has been invented, let me know it because between tv shows, movies, blog, radio, social media, audio books, I don’t understand the interest of podcasts really.
5. GOING BACK AT DISNEYLAND PARIS.
The BIG return at Disneyland Paris. Aka my therapy place. Disneyland Paris has officially reopening on July 15, after four months of closure. My very first day back was on July 13, for the annual pass soft reopening. It was a magical and amazing day. I was there only for the day. I shared this day over here. Three weeks later, I went for my real first trip with five days at stay. I shared this trip over here.
Disneyland Paris is doing an amazing works for the safety measures. I felt safe and good related about the virus. Probably the only outside place I feel safe related at the virus. But! Unfortunately, in these safety circumstances, my trip has not been as much as therapeutic on my flashbacks than the previous. This is independent of Disneyland Paris, I know that Disneyland Paris is doing a maximum in the same time that respected strictly the rules given by the French gouvernment. But the fact that watching parades and shows are my favorites and that currently there is no of that. It’s the hardest part! I feel really bad and heartbreaking about that. I’m not an attractions lover, I love chill and enjoying to watching the Castle but it doesn’t occupy my days in the park. I’m not oppressed by the safety measures but that is hard. I try to find and looking on different things that I can make but at this time I had a hard time to find. It’s ok! It was my first trip back also! Right! Let seeing the next weeks.
+THE BONUS: I TAKE MY FIRST PHONE CALL AND FACETIME WITH MY PSYCHIATRIST.
Probably, an of the biggest thing that I have done, after ten years of therapy with my psychiatrist and never been able take a phone call with her because of my social anxiety. In the beginning of June, I have done my first phone call. I haven’t see my psychiatrist in real since February. Right! It was bizarre and once arrived to make it, it was like if I have done phone calls with her forever. She has proposed myself FaceTime appointment since the beginning of the lockdown also but I felt not ready because of my social anxiety. We have started a few phone calls when I started the new treatment to follow it if it’s helpful. And recently after my trip at Disneyland Paris and five months, I felt really to try the FaceTime appointments. I took my really first two weeks ago, it was the first time that I saw her face since February. It was special! I don’t know what I feel! Now, she has been in vacation so I don’t know again if I want to continue FaceTime but I did it, I can’t believe. And without really of anxiety. I felt not ready of all the lockdown, I felt ready to do it just after my trip at Disneyland Paris. Well! Even if this trip has not been therapeutic on my flashbacks really, it has always therapeutic effects on some sides. I can’t believe it! Definitely, my therapy place Disneyland Paris even with the current situation. I can’t believe it! How amazing is that!
Well! That wraps this post to document a few things that I have done. This summer has been full of disappoints of things that I haven’t managed to do because of my bad mental health these past months. But there is like even a few things (and some big) that I have done. What is your favorite thing that you have done this summer? Thanks for stopping by!